i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
