Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
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Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
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He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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