I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize