how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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