i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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