Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
His nipple licking is glorious
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
