hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The feeling are messing with the penis
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Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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