On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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