Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
