This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
