history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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