Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
