I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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