You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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