I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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