Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
