WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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