Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize