I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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