okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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