Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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