He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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