So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
