Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
