I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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