dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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