the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Drunk is not a location!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
