don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
