Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
