never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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