Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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