She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
