Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And then my night got REAL pukey
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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