Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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