It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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