So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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