just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
someone owes me an orgasm
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
