Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
