I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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