can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
