omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize