Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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