Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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