Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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