party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
