Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
