Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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