3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
