My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck me I smell like cheese
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
