I heard we made out
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
