I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
