i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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