his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
