do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
