i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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