I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
