I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
