at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
