ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
