dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
