Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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