My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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