the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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