i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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