No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
